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User blog:Gaskarths/The Wiki
FROM THE SAME WEBSITE 'THAT BROUGHT YOU THE CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED ''MURDER MYSTERY' AND THE FOOLS WHO BROUGHT YOU THE EMMY AWARD-WINNING COMEDY 'DAMJ: THE SERIES' COMES A BRAND *NEW* COMEDY ABOUT A TRULY DYSFUNTIONAL GROUP OF LUNATICS CAST LIST (20) The Boss '- Kikichara '''The Assistant '- DeliaRivas 'The Intern '- LizzyHoran 'The Other Intern '- SituationMan 'The Creepy Co-Worker '- CrAsh 'The Annoyed Co-Worker '- Misery Business 'The Uptight Host of AM Music '- Rage&Love 'The Chill Co-Host of AM Music '- Degrassi Fan 'The Perky Girl at the Reception Desk '- Got2BFionaC101 'The New Girl who hooks up a lot '- Balhh 'The Popular Host of PM Music '- ParcyDriancfan778 'The Newly-graduated Co-Host of PM Music '- TXLonghorns1994 'The Boss's Daughter who is always here for some reason '- ThisOnePerson 'The Security Guard who doesn't do a very good job '- BreatheMe 'The Intelligent Head of the Technology Department '- Violetxbaudelaire 'The Girl Who's In Charge of Taking Phone Calls '- Josipovics 'The Guy Who's Had Several Jobs Before Getting Hired Here '- Blueeyes72096 'The Awkward Girl who's always late '- AlauraRosey 'The Guy who's always playing video games instead of working '- Stuphsoveralls 'The Office Man-whore '- Showdown616 'The well-liked DJ for AM Music '- CamilleA05 (whoever said females cant be djs can fuck themselves xxo) 'The weather girl who nobody knows the name of '- JessyPop EPISODE ONE - FIRST DAY (lines in ''italics ''will signify that the character is talking to the camera in a sideroom) '''MAIN PLOT' - '''Lizzy, the new intern, starts her first day at Wiki 95.7, a radio station in a town west of Toronto, Canada. It seems to be running smoothly until a simple run for coffee quickly becomes a nightmare. (Lizzy is seen getting out of the car. She shuts the door but her coat gets caught in it. She tugs on it and she rips the corner off, but she quickly runs into the building.) '''Tori '- Oh, hello! May I help you? Lizzy '- Hi, yes, I'm the new intern. Where should I go? '''Tori '- Oh, yes! You must be . . . Elizabeth Horan? 'Lizzy '- Yeah, but I go by Lizzy. Do you know where I have to go? 'Tori '- (she flips through the pages of a packet.) Take a right down that hallway, and then take a left, and then enter the fourth door to the right. You'll find the AM Radio studio. Is there anything else I can help you with? (she gives her a bright smile.) 'Lizzy '- Nope. Thanks though! (she walks away) 'Tori '- I love helping little kids! They're so cute! (she smiles widely) (Lizzy enters the room and is shocked when she sees two people making out on top of soundboard.) 'Lizzy '- Oh man, wrong room? (she wheels around and enters the next studio over.) 'Cam '- AYYYYYY! Look who it is! THE INTERN! 'Jo '- Ohhhh, she's so cute! I just want to pinch her cheeks!!!! (she giggles) 'Lizzy '- Hahahahaha . . . 'Jo '- So you're Lizzy? We've heard many, many things about you, dear! 'Cam '- (muttering) Not really. (Jo elbows him in the stomach.) 'Lizzy '- Ohhh, cool . . . so, when should I start? 'Jo '- Oh, you can start right now if you'd like! Would you mind getting me a cup of decaf coffee, large, one sugar, one half&half? Sorry if it's a tall order to fill . . . I am SUPER thirsty. 'Cam '- (muttering again) Oh she's pretty thirsty alright. (Jo elbows him once again.) 'Lizzy '- Oh, no problem. I'll be right back. (she exits the room.) (The break room is shown and Lizzy walks in. She locates the coffee maker and is about to grab a mug when a boy walks right in front of her and starts making coffee.) 'Lizzy '- Excuse me? I was here first. 'Boy '- Oops. (he resumes adjusting the temperature of the water.) 'Lizzy '- Who the hell are you!? 'Boy '- Um, I'm Chris. I'm the new intern. Who the fuck are you? 'Lizzy '- I'm Lizzy, THE NEW INTERN. Y'know, people cutting me in line happens to be one of my biggest pet peeves. Can you give me back my rightful spot? 'Chris '- Haha, no. You don't even need coffee. Are you, like, twelve? (Two employees, Jake and Catie, get up from their seats at the table.) 'Jake '- Hey, c'mon, just leave her alone, man. Give her the spot back. 'Chris '- No! I was here first. I hate it when people steal things from me! 'Lizzy '- Just move, okay? I really, really, REALLY need to get this coffee for Jo. (The coffee maker beeps a few times, signifying that the coffee is ready.) 'Chris '- There; my coffee's ready. You happy now? (he rolls his eyes and pours it into his mug.) 'Lizzy '- Just . . . whatever, okay? 'Chris '- Excellent. (he takes a sip.) (Lizzy starts making the coffee for Jo. Chris remains standing there until she pours it into the mug and takes a long look at him. Without thinking, she pours the coffee all over Chris. The people in the room all gasp.) 'Jake '- I've never seen a girl fight before. (he smiles.) 'Chris '- You lil BITCH! (he pours his coffee all over Lizzy as well.) (The people in the room gasp once again.) '''Lizzy - I . . . will fucking . . . rip your testicles out . . . with my throat . . . and feed them . . . to the dog. Chris '- Bring it, BITCH. (Before Lizzy can attack, Catie barges in and keeps them apart from each other.) '''Catie '- Hey guys!! Guys!!! Here's a better idea . . . how about we keep our testicles on and keep the dogs on the leash and all just get along? Yeah? PLEASE? 'Lizzy '- I won't keep any promises until this fucking slut APOLOGIZES. '''Chris - Excuse me!? You were the one who poured your pretty little latte all over me! 'Lizzy '- You were the one who fucking CUT ME IN LINE. 'Chris '- You know what? I'm out. I'm done. (he leaves the break room.) 'Lizzy '- I'm gonna kill him. 'Catie '- No, you're not. 'Lizzy '- YES I AM. 'Jake '- Noooooo, you're not. 'Lizzy '- YES I AM. 'Jake '- Last time somebody got killed here, we were under investigation for three months. 'Lizzy '- YES I . . . wait, what? 'Jake '- Too soon? 'Catie '- Look, Lizzy. I understand that you're upset. and you have every right to be but . . . it's just coffee. 'Lizzy '- IT WAS JO'S COFFEE. - * - (Lizzy walks into the studio with her eyes facing the floor.) 'Lizzy '- Hey Jo, haha. Funny story, actually . . . 'Hannah '- what (Lizzy looks up and realizes that Jo isn't in the room.) 'Lizzy '- What? OH GOD, YOU'RE NOT JO. I'M SO SORRY. 'Hannah '- Um, yeahhhh, Jo isn't here, at the moment. She had to go check on a soundboard. 'Lizzy '- Oh, well, then that's good, I guess, because I accidently . . . wait a second, I KNOW YOU. 'Hannah '- what 'Lizzy '- YOU WERE THE GIRL THAT I CAUGHT BANGING SOME OTHER GUY ON TOP OF THE SOUNDBOARD IN THE STUDIO NEXT DOOR. (Hannah hesitates, she then throws a pile of papers into the air and attempts to escape the room.) 'Lizzy '- WAIT, DON'T GO. I need your help with something. (Hannah turns around and looks at her.) 'Hannah '- Last time somebody asked me for help, it was when they wanted me to hold the camera for them while they took nudes. It was totally worth it. 'Hannah '- Fine. What do you need help with? 'Lizzy '- I'm gonna kill someone. 'Hannah '- That's nice. 'Lizzy '- I know right? But here's the thing . . . I kinda already killled them. :/ 'Hannah '- Alright? Wait, who did you kill? 'Lizzy '- Chris. 'Hannah '- Chris Situation? 'Lizzy '- I think so? 'Hannah '- NICE! Wait, when and how did you even kill him? 'Lizzy '- A couple of minutes ago . . . you can ask my dog how I killed him. Anyways, I need help burying him. 'Hannah '- Yeah, sure, just lemme grab my purse. - * - (The scene transitions to a ditch by the roadside.) 'Lizzy '- Hannah, are you sure it's a good idea to bury a body right by the road? Can't we bury him in a less busy place like the DallasSubs Station? 'Hannah '- What? You consider this place busy? The only cars that pass by here are those of the people that work at Wiki 95.7 and the Pizza Hut guy. 'Lizzy '- Alright, if you say so . . . (Lizzy looks around for a place to see the body down. Hannah starts digging a hole.) - * - (Back at the radio station.) 'Jo '- Dammit, where the hell is Lizzy? 'Cam '- Probably out getting high with Jake and Hannah. (he laughs loudly.) 'Jo '- What? She's fifteen, she can't do drugs. 'Cam '- Oh, you'd be surprised. Hey, look, Hannah left us this note! "Jo and Cam, I - " (Jo grabs the note from him.) 'Jo '- Lemme see this. (she puts her glasses on.) Jo and Cam, Lizzy and I went out to get pizza so we should be back in a bit! BYEEEEE xD ps - Sorry that I broke the soundboard next door haha :D xo 'Jo '- Wait, so she's the one who broke the soundboard? (she looks over at Cam.) 'Cam '- Haha, you know kids these days. Always spilling apple juice everywhere. 'Jo '- Hannah is almost twenty. 'Cam '- Sweetheart, you can be however old you want to be if you believe hard enough. - * - (Hannah finishes shoveling the last spot in Chris's grave and she wipes some sweat off of her brow.) 'Hannah '- Man, I haven't buried a body in YEARS. Feels good to be back in the business again. 'Lizzy '- Wait, what the hell? This isn't the first body that you've buried? 'Hannah '- Nope. (she sets the shovel down on the ground.) Anyways, we better go get the pizza. 'Lizzy '- The more this day went on, the more and more I started to get creeped out by the people in this place. I'm scared that I accidently got myself a job at the world's biggest freakshow rather than a really run-down radio station. 'Hannah '- (in the distance) LIZZY, HURRY THE FUCK UP. I HAVE TO MEET A GUY IN THE BACK ALLEY AT 9:30 AND I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. 'Lizzy '- Oh God, I better go. ''(she runs off.) '''Guy behind the camera '- Wait, should I tell somebody that I just filmed two girls burying the body of a guy that one of them brutally murdered? 'Other guy behind the camera '- Nah. - * - (In the break room, Catie sets down two cups of coffee on the table that Lizzy and Hannah are at.) 'Catie '- Now, Lizzy, make sure you don't spill this on anybody, okay? 'Lizzy '- Oh no, there's no need to worry about that anymore. 'Hannah '- Shoot, it's 9;30. Gotta run. (she leaves the room.) 'Catie '- Good job, Lizzy. I'm proud of you! ^_^ 'Lizzy '- Same. Wait, has anybody seen Chris anywhere? 'Jake '- Nope. He disappeared after his dramatic confrontation with you. I think he went home. 'Lizzy '- Oh, how interesting . . . (she looks at the camera and gives a thumbs up.) ---- '''IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF DEGRASSI WIKI'S NEWEST COMEDY 'THE WIKI' - '''Sarah meets a potential boyfriend? WHAT?; Tori the Boss sends Delia on a mission to find this week's celebrity guest star!; The station calls a meeting to determine what the next contest should be! Category:Blog posts